December 23, 2017

What an interesting twister of emotions.  We went into our WTF appointment (Where you can read about what our newest protocol is) thinking we probably wouldn't try again for a while, to wanting to try again in the next couple of months.  My RE seemed so positive and uplifting. We are so lucky to have found her.  

The second we left, we talked about if we should tell anyone or not.  The answer was NO. We were not going to tell ANYONE. We want the chance to have a secret pregnancy like every other human who can conceive naturally.  


Well, I received my newest FET protocol a few days ago. It's so so hard. I go between being excited and being terrified.  Doesn't this baby deserve the same amount of excited feelings as our first try? It has so work this time. IT HAS TO!  

So, I received the e-mail on Friday at 2:30pm on October 6th. I opened up the document and the first thing I noticed...

October 7, 2017

After having to cancel 3 FET transfers, my doctor thought it would be best to try a 1 month round of Lupron. Every time I started the vaginal Estradiol estrogen pills, plus 3 patches of estrogen every other day, I would get my raging period within 2 weeks.  My uterine lining would not thicken and I would start bleeding intensely.  We decided I would not be able to continue with this protocol. After an internal sonogram, my doctor was seeing a small growth on the outside of my uterus. She is worried it is yet another fibroid getting in the way. Fuuuuck.

Look, waiting a month or two or three is no big deal in the grand scheme of things, but damn, I've waited a really really really long time to have a baby. Also, I am just so fucking exhausted.  All The Time.  Why did my lining grow so beautifully for my first FET transfer with only the vaginal estrogen pills?  Well, I can't control what's happening, s...

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