June 3, 2018

Every single time I wipe,

I have to look.

I am terrified to find blood,

I am terrified to lose this baby. 

I started writing this months ago,

Nothing has changed.

I'm 32 weeks pregnant,

I still look every single time. 

We have a healthy singleton,

But think about the twin we lost

EVERY 

SINGLE

DAY.

Even though I feel my baby,

kicking and tumbling like crazy.

I still check.

Miscarriages fucked me up,

I love this baby.

September 2, 2017

Warning: My story is sad

I was instructed to stay in bed for 3 days. I was so cozy and comfortable in our room. I watched a lot of TV and read a lot. On the 3rd day I felt INTENSE cramping. I was moaning and breathing heavily. I thought for sure I was about to get my period. It hurt so bad I had to get the heating pad. I labored through the cramping for a good hour, and then it stopped. I put a pad on and waited for my period to come. It never did. 

I went back to work on Monday and I felt different. Like super zen. Nothing was stressing me out like usual. I didn't care. I felt good. I felt light and tingly. Every day after work I would go home and I just HAD TO sleep. I would nap until my husband came home. I was also SUPER hungry. I needed to eat a snack every couple of hours. (I've been super hungry with all of my meds, but this was just different. More intense.)

I was so glad I was working at the time. I...

July 15, 2017

IVF is something that we had talked about for many years. I felt kind of strange about the whole thing. Pregnancy is supposed to be natural, it should just happen. But when things weren't "just happening", I started to change my mind. I always thought I would get pregnant on a whim. Knowing that I had PCOS, I knew it would be hard to get pregnant. For a long time, I wished and hoped that it would happen. 

There is also obviously the whole money thing. We moved from a state where insurance covers some IVF costs, to one that covers ZERO PERCENT! What The Fuck. Of Fucking Course! 

After finding my amazing RE, a year after my Hysteroscopic Myomectomy, and discovering that we both had fertility complications, my husband and I started to seriously start trying IVF.  

We knew we would need help from friends and family if we wanted to try. We decided to set up a GoFundMe page. Wow, we have some seriously g...

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I love: 
My hubby, My daughter, My dog, My family, Photography, Baking, crafting, Hiking, Camping, 
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