March 13, 2019

Well, I failed the 3 hr. glucose test. FAILED. I HATE that word. It makes me feel so terrible, like I've done something horrible. Couldn't they eliminate that word? I already felt like shit for having Gestational Diabetes. Way to make it worse. 

I was so upset to get this news. What did this mean for my baby? What did this mean for me? 

I was told I had to show up to a class to learn all about foods to avoid/consume and I had to take a class on how to test my blood sugar 4 times a day. 4 TIMES A DAY I HAVE TO PRICK MY FINGERS TO GET BLOOD. GREEEEAAAATTTTTTTT.

I will do whatever it takes to keep my baby healthy. It isn't all about me. I had to get over the fact that I couldn't just eat whatever I wanted whenever anymore. 

I showed up and there were 8 other women there for the class. What surprised me is that they all looked either similar to my weight, or a lot smaller. I thought diabetes was only fo...

June 28, 2018

The dreaded glucose test.

I've been freaking out about this for a while now.  I certainly do not want to have gestational diabetes, but it's best to know for sure. I was NOT looking forward to drink the nasty sugar drink that I've heard about. It sounds terrible and I didn't want to throw up from it. 

I was so nervous. I followed my doctor's orders. She said DO NOT FAST for the 1 hour glucose test. She said that I could eat protein throughout the day and basically eat regularly, just no sweets. I waited to come in until after work. I ate pretty lightly that day since I was so nervous.

I got there and had to drink the 100ml orange drink. It wasn't bad at all! I thought it tasted like a popsicle. Yes, it was sugary, but it didn't make me nauseous or anything. I actually thought it tasted pretty good! 

I went out to the lobby and got super tired and yawned a ton.  I wasn't sure if it was fro...

February 10, 2018

We are devastated. We went in for our 8 week OB appointment and found out that we lost one of the twins. I feel so so alone.  I am so extremely sad, but also glad that our other little one is doing OK for now.  

During our OB visit, she grabbed the hand-held sonogram machine to try to get a look at the babies without having to go in vaginally.  Right away we could see one baby clearly. We could even see the heartbeat.  She was having trouble finding the other baby in the sac.  She kept saying it's hard to even see anything at all with this type of machine so early.  She decided to send me over to have a vaginal ultrasound to check on things. 

In my heart I knew.  I knew that we had lost one. Why would we be able to see one so clearly and not the other? 

I laid down and the sonographer started.  I could see both sacs, but one baby seemed very tiny compared to the other. I was hop...

February 3, 2018

**I am currently pregnant with ONE baby. 

After the 5 week scare, we felt relieved that our babies were still in there.  I can't bring myself to calm down about it, though. I know that a miscarriage can happen at any time. I don't think I'll ever feel at ease with this pregnancy. 

The bleeding continued throughout the whole week after our 5 week scan.  It was enough that I needed a pad, but it wasn't heavy. It wasn't just spotting, either. 

I was so nervous. It was time to see our babies.  The sonographer was excellent.  Right away we could clearly see TWO BEATING HEARTBEATS!  WOW! WOW! WOW!

I've never seen anything like it!  I've never felt this way before.  So extremely happy and giddy!  OUR BABIES ARE OK!  They are SO SO CUTE. Like SUPER CUTE. 

Baby "A" heartbeat was 108.  Baby "B" heartbeat was 128.  

I was concerned about the heartbeat difference, but she said t...

January 21, 2018

**I am currently 13 weeks

The day after we found out that we were pregnant, my in-laws came into town for Thanksgiving!  I was so excited to see them. They haven't visited in a while, and it would be nice to have some family around. 

My hubby and I had decided at the very beginning of our 3rd FET try, that we would not tell ANYONE. NO ONE knows this time.  When people ask when we would try again, our answer was always the same: We're going to take a break for a while. 

#1: It's just too hard emotionally for everyone to know.  

#2: If I could get pregnant naturally, I wouldn't tell anyone until we were ready. 

#3: I didn't want to disappoint anyone.

#4: I just didn't want to. I was tired of it all. 

So here come my in-laws.  This will be their FIRST grandchild!  I want to shout it from the rooftops, but we are staying cautious because of our previous miscarriage. 

So, they came and it's been really...

January 18, 2018

**I am currently 12 weeks**

Well, it finally happened!  We are pregnant!  I've been trying to plan for my blog posts to align with when I am telling everyone.  Some of my Twitter followers already know this news, but I didn't want to share with everyone until we had that 12 week scan. 

Once again, we wanted to have our moment to show a sonogram to tell family and friends. 

We are SO EXCITED

We are SO SCARED

We are SO CAUTIOUS

Here's how it all went down: 

After the transfer I was worried, because I didn't feel any different until the 2nd week.  I wasn't starving, but I was SUPER DUPER EXHAUSTED.  I chalked the exhaustion up to being the school play's director and we had been having longer rehearsals and the show was quickly approaching.  

I felt TONS of cramping (and still do).  I definitely thought I was getting my period and kept checking every time I went to the bathroom.  My mind was...

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